I’ve never considered myself a ‘group person’. Growing up I preferred individual sports and never felt a personal fit within my high school friendship group. I would try and catch up in twos or threes with friends; organizing birthday and celebratory events for large groups has always caused me a great deal of stress. After studying psychology and doing a group counselling subject as part of my Masters-level training, I learned that I was an introvert.

Introverts prefer quiet solitude, time to think before speaking (or acting), and building relationships and trust one-on-one. Introverts, like myself, will often wait and wait and wait for their chance to talk in a group, sometimes without ever getting the opportunity. 

My fear of groups now made perfect sense in light of the fact that I was an introvert!

After we lost our son, Brayden, during birth, I was invited to be part of a perinatal loss group

Although I was reluctant to join, I longed for the connection with other mothers and parents who had experienced loss. 

I wanted to hear from others who had lost their baby, so I could grieve, heal, and cope following our own devastating loss. My usual coping strategies were no longer working as effectively; I knew that I needed to try something new. 

I remember our first group meeting was conducted over Zoom. I was nervous to introduce myself and share my experiences with a bunch of strangers. Although there were times where I still felt it was difficult to talk openly in this setting, there were many other amazing moments where parents shared and connected and cried together, which helped me be seen and aided my heart’s healing. 

I discovered the importance and value of groups, especially in connecting with others who have been through a similar journey of loss and grief. 

Fast forward two years and I am now very good friends with some of the members from that group of infant loss moms. 

We have journeyed through the ups and downs, and together we remember and honour our children who are no longer with us physically. 

Most poignantly, I had the opportunity to facilitate a perinatal loss group in the Archdiocese of Vancouver. 

Although those same group-related fears still come up for me, I am so excited to be part of the healing journey with other families, and I hope to create a safe space for others to share and grow together. Whether you are an introvert like me, are recently bereaved, or experienced infant loss many years ago, I invite you to consider joining a group or starting one yourself so that we can build a community of healing and support in honour of our beloved children awaiting us in heaven. 

Are you a bereaved parent who has experienced infant loss during pregnancy? Seasons of Hope is a free 6-week faith-based support group that offers bereaved parents a sense of community and connection as they process and find healing post-loss. All are welcome; no matter how many years have passed or how early in pregnancy your loss was, every life matters. Join the waitlist to be informed of when the next session will be offered.

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